If you are easily offended, look away... I'm hideous!

For the record...

Here are just a few words and phrases I'm totally sick of reading on peoples' knit blogs. I'd be stoked if I didn't have to see them anymore, but in the meantime if I see these terms used too many times in one place I will usually grunt, click, and move on. Unless, of course, I am blown away by the photos, or the person is talking hell of shit that I think is funny.

1. "rambling(s)" yeah. duh. we don't need to be told that you are rambling. it's a blog. I believe that's what they're for.
2. "musing(s)" see #1.
3. "random thoughts" again, see #1.
4. "occasional rants" when there isn't ever actually any ranting.
5. "yarn harlot" gasp! that's right. I said it. Sorry. Master of the obvious. Didn't learn anything from reading two of her books, cover to cover. I would probably like her if I met her in person, though.
6. "LOL" never funny. keep this particular one out of my text messages too, please!

Feel free to comment!

Oh yeah, if you're going to be at the K&C show in Oakland on Thursday, see you there!

More Noro love and cute baby

I almost forgot to show this thing all done. It's one of my favorite FO's next to one of my favorite things at our house - the engraving Tom did of his and my moms' names on the picnic table he built. I think this shot also kind of captures the light of the beautiful early autumn we're having.

While we're on the subject of striping with Noro, here is a section of my Kureyon afghan in it's new form, in the crotch of this lovely mossy walnut tree. Yes I ripped out the heinous section, and yes, I will rip out the rest to use it for parts! Further confirmation that I am in fact a "process knitter".

Somewhere in Paris is a baby named Sacha, my friend's nephew. I love seeing pictures of him because he looks healthy and robust now, and he's also incredibly cute. This picture is actually one of the few I've seen where he isn't smiling. Usually he has visible dimples, which I am a huge sucker for. At birth he was quite unstable so it is a joyous relief to see him like this. Sacha now has the sweater I made for him. The intarsia part of it was treacherous, but definitely worth the trouble. It fits!

Last night I watched the movie American Splendor, about Harvey Pekar. Paul Giamatti played him in the movie but Pekar also appeared in it as himself. I loved it. It made me realize that I could have had someone else illustrating this running comic strip I've had going in my head, instead of just figuring it couldn't be done.

Ace update: his stitches are healing well. He's such a good boy. We still don't know what bit him, but my bets are on one of the many coyotes I've heard partying on our property in the middle of the night.

OMFG!

It's hailing outside! Hard!

Pictures I promised

Blocking is real pain in the ass without the ideal surface, but so worth it. These are only partially done, but see how much better they look?

ooooh...

And the sweater is finally done

I actually hemmed it! I'm excited about this sweater cause I just made it up as I went (no pattern - just a basic formula) And I figured out how to do the hem part. I ripped out and redid so many sections of this thing because of dissatisfaction with certain colors next to eachother. A couple of areas still bother me but I think I can live it. Now any of you who are insisting that I don't look like a rainbow clown in it better not be lying...

Today's project was this tiny pair of booties for some friends who are expecting in October. I made up this pattern as I went too!

Here's my cast on for Muir. I must be nuts. It'll probably take me 3 years. This silk (Schaefer Andrea) is like thread! But I've been trying to figure out what to do with it for like 8 months now.

So our dog Ace got into something pretty serious this morning. We're not quite sure what exactly, but it left him looking pretty gruesome. The vet says it's a bite because of the multiple punctures and the location - below the neck between the shoulderblades. It had to be a carnivorous animal I presume. Either another (really large) dog or a coyote. We figure if it were a big cat he'd be dead. I'd post a picture but it's pretty horrifying. Instead here's some pictures of our grapes.

cabernet

and the yummy for eating kind

Happy Birthday Tracy Quick!

And another thing...

I need to rant about some shit before I post anything about knitting.

1. Ok I just saw Larry King (don't ask me how I caught this, I never ever watch Larry King) presenting a pair of Ed Hardy custom designed sneakers to Ryan Seacrest to wear to the Emmys. They're gold with a skull and crossbones. They matched some lame suspenders that he also gave him. WTF? What's the world coming to? I got a tattoo from Ed Hardy in 1989, at age 19, and thought he was the coolest guy ever. I still think highly of him and wish him the greatest of successes, but this is just weird. I'm not quite sure what to make of "Sailor Jerry (who has been dead since 1973) Spiced Rum" either. Actually I'd rather not think about it or I'll just get all peeved.

2. I never thought I'd be blogging about people who are already being feasted on by ruthless media, but I must say something about Britney Spears. I know, she looked like a total buffoon stumbling through her drunko performance at the Video Music Awards. (I also happen to think she is a complete nitwit whose appeal I've never understood.) And she clearly had made some short-sighted decisions regarding her wardrobe that evening - like I think she would have had an easier time dancing in some sneakers. BUT her body looked great. Juicy! Anyone (including BS herself) who thinks she's fat is delusional. It pissed me off when I heard Keith Olberman and Michael Musto (whose commentaries I normally like) saying that shit about her. Maybe K.O.'s a little clueless about females - he thought the "leave Britney alone" guy from youtube was a woman.

3. I had to stop reading my knitlist digests the other day and here's why: some thoughtful readers had posted about knitting something to honor the victims of the September 11 bombing of the WTC. That's nice. That's great. I'm all for it. THEN I started seeing all these responses saying that one could knit helmet liners and socks and a bunch of other shit for our soldiers overseas. Ok whatever, knit for them, I'm sure it totally sucks over there. (Although why they need our donations after the billions of our tax dollars are funneled into "defense" is beyond me. You'd think all that would be covered) But wtf does that have to do with the victims of the tragedy in question? Absolutely NOTHING! I had to write to the list mom. And yes, I was very polite. The knitlist is such an awesome resource for zillions of knitters and normally does a great job keeping other topics filtered out. I'm sure they hadn't even made the connection (or lack thereof as the case may be). I had to point out to them that the thread had become political in nature. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who noticed. And while I'm on the subject of the knitlist, can people please stop addressing the group as "ladies"? grrrrr.

Alright, enough about that. About my knitting. I finished but did not block my diamond fantasy lace shawl that I was working on forever. I got stumped at the i-cord bind off edge, so I wrote to Sivia Harding and asked her about it. She responded right away and clarified everything for me. Wow. Not only is she a brilliant designer/pattern writer, she's totally nice too! I'll post pictures after it's blocked. I also finished all the knitting for that Noro sweater I started months ago cause it's finally starting to cool off a tiny bit here. Yay! And now I'm going to cast on Muir from the new issue of knitty that just went up. I've never done the crochet cast-on so we'll see how that goes. After finishing that other lace thing today I'm feeling like I could do just about anything. Oh yeah I did a real simple 2x2 ribbed beanie for Dees with some of the leftover grey from the Hemlock Ring. It was fun figuring out the decreases while maintaining the rib pattern. Pics of all this stuff soon I promise!

Many of y'all may have already seen this but I'll leave you with a link to this baby monkey and pigeon story anyway cause it's so goddamn cute!

Happy birthday Gabe Pinar wherever you are! I miss you!

Hemlock Ring Blanket

I'm blown away by how huge this Knit along has gotten. There were like 39 members or something when I joined it and there are now 600 members! It hasn't been two weeks even. So the knitting for this is done and I'm still scoping out the appropriate surface to block it on. The body was quick, but the bind off row took FOREVER! I've got to figure out the backwards knitting thing so I don't have to turn my work in situations like these. Then maybe I'll try entrelac again.

Octopus attack!

Ok this is weird. A woman came in to the store where I work about a month ago and told me (imagine in a really thick Hindi accent) "You really are very organic looking". She said it to me two or three times. She was really friendly and smiling really big when she said it, and I decided to take it as compliment. I figured that what she meant was that I'm not coated in make up, I don't have acrylic fingernails, a push-up bra, frosted hair, and I don't smell like I've been hosed down with "green tea", unlike a large percentage of the female population here in Kelseyville. That's good, that's fine, I thought. But then today these 2 weird guys came in and one told the other to "go talk to the hippy girl" referring to ME! WHAT? I am confused by this.

Oh, speaking of green tea, have you seen this? It's one of my favorites. Ooh wee T-Shane!

WTF?!? #7: I thought the days were over of being tormented by that Romantics song "What I like About You". Remember last year, hearing it during trailers for dumb movies like Benchwarmers (and I believe some computer animated movie also) and various commercials for snack foods and travel services and whatever else? Am I crazy? I swear I thought it was never going to stop. And I was right! I JUST HEARD IT AGAIN ON A FUCKING E-SURANCE COMMERCIAL! AAAUUUUUGGH!

Fair

Here's the bunch of pictures I promised. None of them are of my finished knit items. I went to the county fair in Lakeport today. I like to go there to eat junk food, to see the animals, and to look at the "home arts". It is not my favorite place for people-watching. This is what 6 dollars' worth of curly fries looks like.

It was hard to get good pictures of most of the animals. They refused to look directly at me once I had the camera out. Except for this scary guy, who apparently is my neighbor and I didn't even know it. I don't even know what kind of animal he is. Four horns?

Here's a sort of OK shot of a miniature burro that I thought was very cute.

I was excited to see that a really nice person that I took a spinning class with got a blue ribbon for this felted (fulled?) bag she did with her hand-spun. Congratulations Chris Love!

And of course, the cake that looks like a litter box. mmmm.

And this Roy Rules! digital short is what had me giggling to myself today.

P.S. Okay this is funny: I just told Dees that I was about to log out (yes, as in get off the internet, turn off the computer), and he asked me if that meant that I was about to take a shit

more on this later

I don't have pictures of anything today, or much time to go on about it, but my next post will have at least a few, I promise. I joined the Hemlock Ring Blanket knit-along based on this doily pattern that Brooklyn Tweed made a small afghan from. So I'm in the middle of that. Actually I'm in the middle of the bind off round. It's been a very satisfying project. Enough stuff that's new to me to hold my interest, but still a quick knit.

teaching

So I don't really know what to post about today, but it's been a week.

Oh yeah! My classes! I taught two classes this past week and they both went really well. Monday was part 1 of Beginning Knitting and Wednesday was Felted Bag. I could tell I'd been feeling a little more confident about it cause I was actually able to get to sleep the nights before, which I was unable to do the first few times I taught classes. I would toss and turn and have dreams that I forgot something really important or got stuck running late. Another thing that helped me to not stammer and sweat was writing the hand outs outlining everything for the students. I'm pleased with how they turned out, but I need to add more. I also want to come up with some illustrations. I just saw that the Knitting and Crochet Show in Oakland next month is having a teacher's workshop that I want to sign up for.

Here's a picture of some stuff I bring in to show my beginning students ideas of what they can do with limited skills and practice.

And some other stuff so they can see what they have to look forward to.

This is a sweater I made for my friend's newborn nephew in Paris that she mailed off to him today. I can't wait to see pictures of him in it! This was the project that turned me off to intarsia. Or at least intarsia with cotton. It is made of Cascade Pima Silk.

WTF?!? #6: Someone (a councilman I guess) in Atlanta is proposing a law banning baggy pants/ visible underwear because he is "tired" of seeing boxers etc. above guys' waistbands. Many are outraged, saying it's nothing more than racial profiling. This ban would also extend to visible thongs, bra straps, and wearing a sports bra as a top in public. This definitely sounds like a tyrant at work. Having a "Falling Down" moment. I mean I sure could do without seeing peoples' thong (just using the word makes gag - but I have a "thing" about certain words), but what's next? Can we start banning peoples' cheap after shave too?

Bobby and color neurosis

Today is Robert Deniro's 64th birthday. Happy birthday Bobby! Here's strange shot of him with Brian May and Roger Taylor from Queen. I guess it's a press shot from when they produced this stinking nugget back in 2002. I'm really glad I was completely unaware of it because I am a huge Queen fan.

It's also Sean Penn's birthday, Independence Day in Indonesia, and the day rastafarians celebrate the birth of Marcus Garvey, whom they consider a prophet.

This is my new favorite project. It is Noro Silk Garden in colors #84, #255, and #251. It's one of those where I can't wait to get home so I can see what happens next. I've only ripped out and redone two sections so far (if you don't count the fact that I started it 3 or 4 times). So yeah I get a little weird about the way certain colors look next to eachother. That's what I mean by color neurosis (or Norosis as the case may be). Unfortunately I dont have Jared a.k.a. brooklyn tweed (my inspiration for this project) to photograph it for me.

This project has had me thinking about ripping out the afghan in progress and redoing it in two row stripes. What a delicious assault of color that would be. I guess this makes me a "process knitter".

WTF?!? #5: Chevy Chase as "Fletch" being introduced as Eldridge Cleaver in "Fletch Lives". Definitely what I would call a made for TV movie.

Ha!

There. I did it. And as soon as it dries I'll be sending it off to Locks of Love so a bald child can wear it. It was driving me crazy. It's been in the high 90's to low 100's here pretty much every day for months, and it's really dry. I feel much better now.

So I've had an exciting week. I got to go to the city for a couple days. I spent some time with my dear old friend Sarah and her 18 month old nephew who is so cool. You should see his teeth. I also got to see her sister Julia who is one of the craftiest people I know. Her creations are impressive in a way that's hard to describe. They have so much character and yet they are so perfectly simple. I talked with her a little about knitting. She started telling me something about "finger knitting" which I had only ever heard of but knew nothing about. I'm guessing it follows a similar (if not the same) principle as a knitting loom or "rake". She said she figured out a way to finger knit in the round, and made a long tube! Of course I spend an hour and a half with this person and she manages to blow my mind. She reminded me also of the scientific term for "short thumbs" of which she has two. Dees has one. The term is brachymegalodactylism.

I also made a point of going to Sarah's to see Henny Penny and Wilbur. They are the cats that she and I adopted as tiny kittens in 1990. I haven't lived with them since 1996, so of course I'm amazed that they're still alive. Apparently Wilbur isn't doing so well.

And Thursday I spent the whole day and evening with some girls that I was friends with at Marina junior high (and one from before) that I haven't seen in over 20 years! It was wonderful. And I think I like all of us even better as adults.

I never mentioned that I also make jewelry. I also never mentioned that the yarn store I work at is actually primarily a bead store. (and I NEVER want to hear another person mindlessly babble "I feel like a kid in a candy store" EVER AGAIN. Unfortunately it will happen. And I will want to rip my own fucking head off.) We have many amazing classes there. I just got to take another chainmail class from Colin Mahler. She's a great instructor and a big sweetie. And I'm not just saying that cause she gave me a ride home all the way from San Francisco. Although I would.

These are the pieces I've made in her classes. (I know the picture didn't come out so good. It's hard to photograph shiny stuff.) They are all sterling silver and they feel great. (Left) Byzantine bracelet, which my mom swiped the second I brought it home. I had planned to give it to her anyway. She deserves it, and besides, how much of this stuff does any one person need? (Center) Double Helm. (Right) European 4-in-1. This is the traditional weave used to make chainmail armor.

German chocolate, etc.

Yesterday was the 62nd anniversary of the U.S. dropping an atomic bomb on Hiroshima. Takashi Tanemori is one of the few survivors of this bombing, and lives in Berkeley, California. I've been looking at his artwork. It's pretty awesome*. Unfortunately, he is now almost completely blind due to radiation exposure from the Hiroshima blast.
* when I use the word awesome I truly mean it. Not as in "OMG my bus actually arrived on time" or "I like the way your shoes match that jacket".

WTF?!? #4: According to Deborah Oduwa, the voice mailbox of the Oakland Police Dept. Homicide unit is full. They can't keep up with the messages or receive any new ones. And I guess that also means they don't have anyone actually answering the phones either. That's fucked up. Deborah Oduwa is the fiance of Chauncey Bailey, an "outspoken African American news reporter" for the Oakland Post who was murdered last week.

Obligatory knitting content: About the lace... After I posted about it I was thinking to myself "hmm. I've never used one of those life lines, I wonder if that would be wise. I guess I don't really need one if I keep diligently counting my stitches after each row..." So of course the one time I didn't do this I made a mistake which I didn't discover until passing it again on a RS row. I couldn't figure out the problem at first, with my confusion being compounded by the placement of stitch markers under yarn overs. Thoughts of it actually pained me while I was at work the next day. Anyway I finally got it undone and fixed after an hour and a half Saturday evening. (It was a missed yarn over. ack.)

Ok so I'm merrily finishing up the row with the fixed mistake behind me and Dees comes home. He can tell by looking at me (maybe by the creases in my forehead) that I'm working on something complicated and maybe even a little precarious and gets the grin on his face. The one where the dimples are in full effect and you can see all his teeth. Oh no. He gets a bounce in his step. I immediately panic because I know he's about to come poking and grabbing and going "what's that? what's that? what are you doing?", etc. Aaarg. It ended up okay, but I had to put away and work on something much more mindless: flower petal shawl #2. It's in dark blue Frog Tree Alpaca. Yes. I'm daydreaming about chilly weather.

Dessert: Friday I made cupcakes for my friend's 40th birthday. It was my first attempt at German chocolate. They were delicious, I must say. Dees inhaled 5 of them in one day. Most importantly, Joe loved them!

Here's a nice shot of Trixie at our swimming hole. Our property is right on Kelsey Creek! Beautiful. (Heh heh - wanna buy a house?)

Lace

The way this guy John summed up lace knitting was so well put that I'm not going bother to say all the same stuff about it. This is the Diamond Fantasy Scarf by Sivia Harding. I'm using Schaefer Anne. I have absolutely no clue how to photograph lace yet, so I'm experimenting. This pattern is really well written. Definitely worth the $7.50. There is nothing confusing in it. And I love that I only need one skein of the yarn I chose to do it in because I loathe dealing with ends of yarn, especially in a lace project.

This is a pattern I got from the book Romantic Style. (I know, any of you who know me are thinking "Romantic Style"? Yeah, right) I did this with Madil Kid Seta on size 10.5 US Clover bamboo needles that I sharpened. hee hee. (I had a spare pair). It seems like knitting "lace" on large needles is kind of cheating. I like this pattern regardless. I'm sure I will give it to my mom because she keeps saying it is her favorite thing I've knit so far.

Is it me?

What the *%@# is wrong with the formatting here? I've just been looking over my entries to date and my fonts and font sizes are different everywhere! It's totally maddening! Is there some trick I don't know about? Is it a browser issue? Is it an evil Microsoft conspiracy? (it looks fine in Explorer, but screwy in Firefox and Safari) I am so irritated by this I must stop typing. I'm afraid it's going to screw this one up too.

I love Kureyon

On this day in 1729 Baltimore, Maryland was founded. This is a city I have never visited. It is also the setting of my new absolute favorite tv show Homicide: Life on the Street.Yeah, I know it's an old show but I just recently discovered it and have been savoring every episode on DVD from Netflix. I'm up to about the middle of season 4. Isn't technology great?

According to Wikipedia, a few other things of note took place on July 30:
1866 - New Orleans's Democratic government ordered police to raid an integrated GOP meeting, killing 40 people and injuring 150.
1954 - Elvis Presley makes his debut as a public performer.
1974 - Watergate Scandal: US President Richard M. Nixon releases subpoenaed White House recordings after being ordered to do so by the United States Supreme Court.
1975 - Jimmy Hoffa disappears from the parking lot of the Machus Red Fox restaurant in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit, at about 2:30 p.m. He is never seen or heard from again.
It's also the birthday of my good friend Jason Storm, and of Arnold Schwarzenneger, Rat Scabies, Kate Bush, Richard Linklater, and Alton Brown.
It's Father-in-law's Day. So say whatever to your FIL. If you have one.

Today I'll introduce you to some of my Noro Kureyon. Yes there is a Kureyon Club, and I am a member. Here is my afghan so far, which makes a nice little throw on it's own. I'm doing this on size 10 US addi turbos.

And here's part of the next section.

I think I'm going to rip out most if not all of it because I think this

looks heinous. Speaking of heinous, I tried to watch that movie "Perfume" last night. It stunk.

Neck-down raglan sweater alternating the Kureyon with the most neutral color I could find in Cascade Ecological Wool.

I'm using the pattern generator (with some modifications) at knitting fool. I'm hoping all these colors aren't going to look ridiculous and clown-like on a 37 year old woman (me). Any thoughts? honestly...

socks in progress

and gratuitous tattoo* shot.

I started these with this Claudia a while back.

They are cuff-down (obviously) but as you can see I decided that I didn't like the 1x1 rib on the first one, so I removed it and picked up a 2x2 rib in it's place and bound off.

I am not by any means a sock freak. I like it ok, but I like too much other stuff also. (And I actually poked a hole into the tip of my left index finger with a metal knit picks US #1 DPN today. Not a bloody hole, but it is a little tender.) If your looking for "the musings of an obsessive sock knitter" you'll have to elsewhere. Like in about 100,00 other places. Or join the socknitters yahoo group. You'll be overwhelmed, to say the least.

WTF?!? #3: Is it my imagination or is there a medication for "restless leg syndrome" that may cause intense sexual and/or gambling urges?

* If you're curious about the tattoos, the carp was done in 1995 by Civ at Lotus Tattoo in Sayville, NY. The dots were done by Dan Thome in 1991 or '92. Maybe someday, if I can round them up, I'll post some pictures of tattoos that I did.

color (mental) blocks

I'm making (another) felted bag. It's not my absolute favorite thing to knit, but I like it well enough. And I'm teaching a really basic class in this so I figured I should get myself midway into one at least for demonstration purposes.

I decided to use some scraps of cascade 220, which I have many colors of scattered around, and I'm making up the color combos as I go. While trying to branch out into throwing some lighter or brighter colors or neutrals (gerk!) into the mix I keep getting stumped. I've ripped out everything after those purple stripes at least three or four times. And this is just one side of the bag! Sometimes I think about asking someone else to pick yarn balls out at random and hand them to me when it's time to switch colors. Maybe I'm worrying too much.

WTF?!? #2: I can hear the (ktvu) TV news from the other room. They're saying that in the last year in California, 33 people (babies and children I assume) have died from being left unattended in parked cars. 33 people! They're actually advising viewers to put their purse or wallet in the back seat of their car next to their baby to help them remember to take the baby out!

I finally finished this book and I wish I hadn't. It was so good.

I started this one last night because this web page, Things My Girlfriend and I have Argued About, written by the same guy (Mil Millington), is one of the funniest things I have EVER read. Seriously.

baby stuff

So I get this Page-A-Day calendar in my email that has interesting medical factoids. (It's from the book "Why Do Men Have Nipples" if you must know). When it's a friend's birthday and it's kind of funny or cool or relevant to the person in some way I'll forward it to them. It hasn't worked out for some ex-boyfriends of mine, though. The first one I thought I'd surprise with one of these I decided against (but the daydream was a laff riot!) because the yummy tidbit featured was an "on this day in history..." Lorena Bobbit snipped off her husband's weenie and tossed it out the window of her car. Then today I thought "too bad I don't know Shon's email, I wonder what the calendar says". Mmmm, nope. DIY vasectomy.

Oh yeah, baby stuff! I love knitting baby stuff. Ginger said I could put these pictures of Aidan up in the hat (Cascade Cloud 9 Merino and Angora) and sweater (Knitting Pure and Simple neck down cardigan in Cascade 220 Superwash with some Czech glass buttons). Thanks for the really cute baby, Ginger and Marcus!

and just in time for summer

Too bad I don't have any idea how to block a tiny little raglan sweater.

Look at those pants!

And another post with no knitting content

Here are my answers to some of those survey things you see on myspace

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? - I try not to think until I've been awake for a while
2. How much cash do you have on you? - 12 cents
3. What's a word that rhymes with "test"? - vest
4. Favorite planet? - Um, earth
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
- My boyfriend’s boss – an obnoxious carpenter who called before 7am
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
- I hate them ALL
7. What shirt are you wearing?
- Something weird with grey and orange stripes that says “Made in West Germany” on the label
8. Do you "label" yourself?
- Are you kidding me?
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing.
- Adidas shoes, Puma socks
10. Bright or Dark Room?
- neither
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
- He's one of my favorites.
12. What do you order at Starbuck's?
- OK this is an incredibly assy question and believe it or not, there is not not a single Starbucks anywhere in the county where I live. Not even in the Safeway. But if there were, an iced americano sounds pretty good.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? - Waiting to download a 2086 kb jpeg with a painfully slow dial up connection
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? - "K. i prematurely ejaculated on my msg...huurt!"
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
- I really don't know. Probably at least 80 miles away.
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
- Lame. Um, and I guess "fucking" … (as an adverb)
17. Who told you they loved you last?
- Andrew Dees.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
- My smallest dog
19. How many drugs have you done in the past three days?
- one
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
- one
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
- 26 absolutely. I've got high hopes for 38-40.
22. Your worst enemy?
- I don’t have a clue. I don't really have those. And if I did, I'm sure I wouldn't say their name on a blog! My current nemesis, however, is an 8 year old boy who comes into the store where I work and spends anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours (seriously) asking me how much everything is because he has $1.08.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
- I find desktop pictures terribly distracting and tacky.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
- “Too bad the lighting in here sucks, I'd really like to take a picture of that lasagna.”
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you choose?
- Fly
26. Do you like someone?
- Huh?
27. The last song you listened to?
- "Tomorrow Is My Turn" by Nina Simone. Before that a “lullabye” version of a Queens of the Stone Age song "Better Living Through Chemistry". It sucked. I don’t know whose idea that was but it sounded all new age with some kind of synthesizer hammer dulcimer. It got me thinking about rockers having kids and then telling themselves that even though they're grown up parents now, they still rock so much that even their kid listens to a QOTSA Lullabye?! Gimme a fuckin break. How narcissistic. It's a human, not a toy. If I have any babies, you won't see me putting rock t-shirts on them. But if they ask me for my old ones after they learn to dress themselves it's fine with me. ..OK Sorry I went off there. I'm OK now. I think.
28. What is the most expensive item you own?
- Don’t remember. Don’t know. Don’t care. My brain starts to short out if I think about that.
29.. Name someone with the same birthday as you
- Isaac Asimov- Christy Turlington- Nelly- Sarah Silverman- Tia Carrere- Lou Gramm- Jim Bakker- Dabney Coleman
30. Where was your first kiss?
- in a large cardboard box in the back of my 1st grade classroom.
31. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
- not that I can remember. I’m pretty nice. Oh wait, actually a guy who evicted me. He was and still is a huge piece of shit.
32. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
- not to harm them.
33. Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people?
- no, not more than 50 or so.
34. Whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
- what they say, how they carry themselves
35. What really turns you on?
- intelligence, wit, style, dexterity, manners, assertiveness, fluency in multiple languages, parallel parking, kick ass rock music.
36. What is your biggest mistake?
- If I could think of it offhand it would be none of your business.
37. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
- That depends on who you ask… If you mean like slicing myself to ribbons or driving into a brick wall, no. But some would argue that extensive tattooing, staying in really unhealthy relationships, and years of heavy drinking and drug use would qualify as such.
38. Say something totally random about yourself. - I always laugh when I see someone’s tooth blacked out on a billboard. Hilarious!
39. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
- When I was about 7 yrs old people told me that I looked like “Carrie”. That was just because I had very straight blond hair and freckles and a small nose. Oh and also because they were idiots. I was also told once that I looked like Dale Crover. This both confused and elated me, as he was somewhat of a hero of mine at the time. Is he a celebrity? I dunno. I think it's super cool that he's in wikipedia.
40. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
- What do you mean “still”? I never really watched kiddy movies when I was a kid. I definitely don’t watch them now. Except I love “Babe”. I won’t watch any of that “Flushed Away” computer animated stuff. I’m ok with some cartoons on TV though.
41. Did you have braces?
- Yes for a year and a half in 9th and 10th grade.
42. Are you comfortable with your height?
- Yes
43. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
- waking up from an O.D. induced coma on Valentine’s Day
44. Do you speak any other languages?
- I can just barely survive in Italian, French, and Spanish but it’s been a long time since I’ve had to.
45. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
- no. I’ve never had my nails done or been waxed either.
46. What magazines do you read?
- Interweave Knits, Colors. A bunch of beading magazines that we have where I work.- sometimes Giant Robot, Vice, Bark, Juxtapoz, National Geographic, the occasional discarded glossy rag that I find at the post office.
47. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
- not as a VIP. I associate limos with vomiting, which I really hate.
48. Has anyone you were really close with passed away?
- oh come on
49. Do you watch mtv?
- no.
50. What's something that really annoys you?
- use of any and all cliches.
51. What's something you really like?
- Cute furry little animals
52. Do you like Michael Jackson?
- what the hell kind of a question is that? Do I like Michael Jackson.
53. Can you dance?
- yeah sure. But I probably won’t.
54. What's the longest/latest you have ever stayed up?
- You can’t be serious.
55. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
- Specifically, no.
56. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
- Yes. when I was a baby I fell out of my crib and busted my teeth out on the floor.
57. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
- Yes, in fact I love reading these when other people fill them out. How do you think I found this?

"Call me Virginiaca" or why Kenan Thompson rules.

The most un-youtubed cast member on Saturday Night Live is the one that makes me laugh all the next day just thinking about him. So of course I try to explain it to people and they just look at me all blank, like "Oh man she must have seen another rerun of that one with Justin Timberlake again..." Dude. JT and Kenan Thompson together in drag?! Genius.